Guwahati Adda: The Pretentious Diwali

Tuesday, 19 January 2021



Guwahati Adda: The Pretentious Diwali

Sidharth Bedi Varma | October 19, 2019 17:23 hrs

Rahul catches up with his “fancy-strong accented-South Delhi” friend who is a strong advocate of Green-Diwali. After some basic chit-chat… 

Rahul: So, celebrating Diwali?

Sheila: Ya of course!

Rahul: Oh great! What plans?

Sheila: Well, first, we’ll make a Rangoli highlighting the impact of climate change, as a tribute to Greta Thunberg’s speech ya! Of course, we’ll do this using purely organic colours made from waste flowers that I got from the US.

Rahul: Accha? Then? 

Sheila: For the lamps, we will use organic earthen diyas made by artisans from Kolkata, who also moonlight as sex workers, you know, because of their economic condition.

Rahul: Oh interesting! 

Sheila: Then we’ll prepare a feast with 100% organic food that I specially had imported from New Zealand. 
And of course, for dessert, we’ll have gluten free, sugar free and fat free mithais specially made by women in Rajasthan. 

Rahul: Oh great!

Sheila: Well, we’ll keep chatting later. Let me get you something. 

Ramu! Bhaiya ke liye ek glass cold water lao and turn on the AC. It’s really hot out there. Also, driver ko boliye gaadi ki AC on karke rakhe. He has to go get the kids after some time.

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