I am a woman and I don't support #MeToo

Sunday, 28 February 2021



I am a woman and I don't support #MeToo

Chandrika Das | October 12, 2018 19:14 hrs

The #MeToo movement has been sweeping the country and women have come out to raise their voice in unison against past oppressions, assaults and sexual misbehavior by erstwhile male colleagues taking advantage of their momentary superiority. I, however, have a problem with this trend and it needs no reiteration that I am a woman.


As a woman, I stand against the campaign because I am afraid this 'trend' will fail to deliver justice to the real victims. The movement which was initiated to give a voice to the victims has now been hijacked by attention seekers on social media.


Two days ago, I was at a pub socializing with some of my close friends. There happened to be another group of people sitting at a table next to us. The group members (boys and girls) seemingly were younger to us. The members, at one point, got seriously engrossed in the '#MeToo' discussion, and I couldn't help but pay attention to their discussion. One of the boys started holding a female member's hands to tease her for her version of the trend. What followed was the girl's instant response with a laughter, "haath chod de, Me Too ho jayega nahi toh." (Leave my hands, or this will be another case of Me Too). Not that she looked serious with her words, but this is where I want to know what circumstances define men’s ideation of misogyny.

Every other woman is talking about being a victim of incorrect social conduct; some are getting into the trend because they were groped or touched wrongly by a man whereas others are jumping onto the bandwagon because they were looked at by a group of men or someone complimented them with the words, "You look sexy." Well, currently, it all seems to be nothing more than a hotchpotch of complaints.


Over the past 6 years of my professional career, I have worked with male counterparts in each company. They have been my colleagues, friends and family. Unlike what social media trends set, not all men are predators. Now all I see, hear and understand is men could easily be falsely accused of sexual harassment or assault. Women, on the other hand, could lose out on opportunities at work because men will be afraid to work with them. 


"If it happens to you at that moment, you talk about it at that moment." You do not take it to Facebook, because a male touched your cheeks or hands 10 or 15 years ago. The movement, I feel, is essentially going out of hand; it started for awareness but now has almost become a movement to hate men. Females too can be sexually abusive. But will the society initiate a trend against women here? India being India, I am pretty sure, never.


I will not deny the video footage that showed Tanushree’s vehicle being attacked by Nana Patekar’s supporters. But I will never buy the fact that she did not have any personal interest behind keeping the incident dormant for long 10 years. She isn’t a woman who comes from a rigid family; she is the actress whose bold scenes were once the talk of the nation. Her scandalous kissing scenes in Aashiq Banaya Aapne had once brought a wave in the Bollywood film industry. Could it be possible that her controversy with Nana Patekar was an outcome of the space she provided him? Nobody knows it, right? Nobody cares beyond the allegations a woman make.


I am 29, a woman, and my opinion of not agreeing to this campaign against sexual harassment has often been ridiculed. But I will reiterate that although initially, it seemed to be a revolutionary move to me, it has now gone too far. With thousands of cases of different magnitudes coming up every day, and only on social media, I can’t help but be sceptical of the whole thing. I know I would be judged for making this statement, but this #MeToo movement is not going to stop sexual harassment in the society. 


If you are molested, or harassed, or if you are forced to feel any less of a woman than what you are, talk then and there - there are people who would listen to. The people around you could be of more help than those sitting and reading your feeds on social media.


While women who have been assaulted and violated deserve justice, I feel that this movement is not taken in the right direction by people who are only seeking revenge and falsely implicating men.      

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